Try No Regrets... Move Forward

I don't do regret anymore, I still do guilt and sometimes anger, but I don't do regret. I've done things in my past that might have haunted me towards triggering my episodes. I know that the when I use to drink, I'd have flashbacks and then they'd turn towards regret. So I'm working on letting the past go and just working towards accepting my faults and decisions more. I've fallen off the wagon a few times though, learning how not to drink has been difficult because it provided me with a distraction from my feelings & thoughts, now I don’t know... I'm at the gym a lot, or practicing my bass guitar. But besides all of that, I don't spend a lot of time in my head, unless it's work related or regarding being more productive. I'm not emotionless; I just rather not focus on my moods anymore. Also, even though I want more friends, I understand that having friends can be bad for me especially if they don't understand me. I understand the concept of rejection more, because people are more willing to run away from me, and then try to be there for me. But I'm a bit crazy at times; so much goes on in my head that it takes a strong-willed person to get close to me.