Who are you?... do you know?

In 2002, A friend once told me that "When you find yourself, find me!", so that is what I did, I started out on the journey to find myself for about 6 or 8 months give or take. But I didn't do it truly for myself, I did it so I could get the girl back, and after a short time I became both impatient and frustrated while on that journey, so I started drifting from my own journey. Sure, in the beginning my outlook on life was very different full of hope and direction. But as time went on, I lost focus on finding myself and always trying to get the girl. Eventually, I moved on and found another girl to take her place, and then another and another. And then that started a pattern of behavior in my life, always seeking to go after the next person. A full decade would go by before I realized that I couldn't recognize the person I was in the mirror, and I doubt anyone else could recognize who I was either. My mom use to say that I look like a Lost Soul that forgot who he was, what he was, and the journey to find myself became a memory. All I did was spend my life chasing people, and wanting to hold onto them. I'm not sure I was even fighting for true love or a lasting relationship, I just wanted the fantasy of a person that I thought I needed. And I noticed that even in the past, I was so consumed with keeping them that I wouldn't even spend any time working on myself or trying to be happy for me.

It's now 2015, and probably since September of this year, I've looked into the mirror and asked myself a question... "Who are you, do you know?"

And I've responded back saying... "I don't even fucking know!"

So I have my work cut out for me, but I've begun removing people and elements from my life that are either a hindrance, distraction, or negative influence on this new "life-long" journey I want to take. But I can't live in the past, or move forward based on patterns of the past, it has to be completely new and challenging, that is the only way I know that I'm heading in a purposeful direction in my life.

But I believe even now, that we should all ask ourselves "Who are you?" it's an important question because I want to live my life with some purpose, meaning, and direction. I don't want to take life for granted, because I know a lot of people do so. Sure, we experience things in life that change us, but do we ever really on a personal journey towards self-actualization, do we seek to discover who we truly are. I know I've probably said a lot of things in this blog in the past, but this week I just looked, observed, and searched around my apartment and in my life for anything that shows me... who I really am... things are empty... there is no real personality or character that screams who I am.

It's important that I find out WHO I REALLY AM!