I'm tired of wrestling with myself, I'm frustrated with living in an unhealthy state of being. I don't know where to go from here, but I know I want to find true healing, and I want to recover from the downward spiral that is my life.
I've slowly been removing people and elements from my life that I sense are negative. Recently I made a choice to remove two people from my life and it was extremely hard to do so, because I was so attached to them, even though I think I caused them nothing but pain. I won't find happiness in the past, but I'm also scared to think that I won't find happiness in the future either.
My life is constantly shifting from happiness to depression... and I'm trying to be honest about it too. But it's hard... I'm moving back to wanting to Understand & Re-Discover myself, and I know I have to stop looking at people for answers... I need to embrace a new path... and find a way towards renewal or even transcending the person I've become.
Not sure yet... but I need to be patient, and not impulsive... and take things one step at a time... I feel it will take years or even a lifetime to repair my life. Since, basically all I've become or allowed myself to become is unhealthy & negative.
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