Done!

I'm done fighting, sure I'll fight for myself and fight for others if I'm allowed. But sometimes we have to leave people where we met them, in the past. I didn't really want to do so, in fact I resisted for a long time, and I really wanted to make things better and wanted them to see me not as damaged or how they saw me when they met me. But I've been living in the past for too long. And I know that in 2002, I had a chance to leave the past in the past... and I didn't. I didn't leave it be, and move on with my life. I kept trying to go back and fix things instead of recognizing that things that are in the past have to remain there.

We can't grow if we're still holding onto the past, and yes some people from my past have tried to reconnect and I've let them. But when I talk to them, all I see is the past and maybe they see the same, I don't see a future or maybe they can't see a future either because they bring up the past. They'll say things like... I wish I had done this differently or done that differently. And I'm always saying, the past is in the past... leave it there.

So I'm done... not sure how I'll start working to leave the past alone... but today and everyday in the future... I'll be working to push it out of the way until I've created something NEW and ORIGINAL. Maybe that is what is stopping me from being truly happy and whole... I'm always holding onto people that just want me to let them GO. So I'm going to let go, and whether they get better or not... I'll leave it alone... wrestle it to the grown, numb it with ice... I'll do whatever I have to do to move on with the rest of my life.