Bedtime

Last night, I went to bed around 1am... and woke up at 6am... but I did something different last night that I haven't done in a long time, not since 2011... I started to quote the prayer of serenity, while holding myself tightly.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

As if repeating it until I fall asleep is going to make me better, but I still have to try something. I feel unsafe in my own head... scared to close my eyes. Because I know that when I fall asleep, when I wake up I'll have to do it all over again. I think I'm going to start listening to music to help relax me while I try to sleep, and listening to music when I wake up.

Makes me wonder though, why this is happening to me...