Alternating Priorities

"Action expresses priorities."
― Mahatma Gandhi

Today was a roller coaster day, I just wanted to feel specific things but different thoughts and situations kept coming up that didn't really allow me time to adjust to the seriousness of it all. I know none of that makes any sense, but that is the best way for me to describe how drained and exhausted I was today.

This morning I had coffee with my neighbor, in which he expressed a lot of emotions and thoughts... and I listened to him vent. I spoke to him about priorities and how some things and some people you can't hold onto too tightly because then you'll become so blind and overwhelmed by them that you won't be able to really see things clearly. While drinking two cups of coffee and thinking several thoughts myself as well.

Then this afternoon I went to church and this strong intensity just swallowed me whole, because I was watching these musicians playing their instruments and me just watching. And I couldn't stand just watching, so I just felt so many different emotions... but I was also extremely conflicted. Because playing the bass guitar wasn't a priority at that moment and I wanted it so badly to be.

Later, I went to Starbucks and ordered a Caramel Apple Spice, and just tried to enjoy my evening but I was exhausted both mentally & emotionally. And I couldn't find a way to smile because I just had so much on my mind to think about and consider. I was literally conflicted, I wanted this and I wanted that. But I didn't want to feel as though I'd die if I choose wrong. I'm even conflicted while writing this blog, I understand completely the views and options of others when it comes to priorities and wanting to be important.

Eventually... I came across "Alternating Priorities", the idea is based on having set deadlines for elements of my life. Focusing on something here, and then focusing on another at a different time. It will allow me to constantly move and stay unsettled. Because time is extremely precious right now. I don't have as much time as I thought I had. So starting tomorrow, I'll create a 12 week on & off again program for the elements in my life.