The Polar Express

I'm reminded of the time I was sitting on the couch with my nephew Justice watching "The Polar Express". He was probably too young to remember the experience, but I'll never forget what it felt like to sit down with him watching that particular movie. It was an awesome memory, because he was so happy and excited with the music and dancing... and when he saw Santa Claus in the movie he was so excited and jumping around. Pointing at Santa Claus and it just made me feel so good to watch him being so excited. However, for me it made me remember what it felt like to be a child watching a movie like that. I remember all the emotions I felt as a child watching Christmas movies, and being excited about the Holiday Season. All the gifts, presents, decorations, and how happy that particular time in my life was. Now that I'm 33 yr old and no longer a child, I'm always having to fight with my own emotions when it comes to the holidays. And I have to find a way to hold onto to the Christmas Season the best I know how. Living alone doesn't always provide me with the added emotions and support I need in order to make the holidays what I want it to be. This year, I've been too broke to decorate my apartment or do all the things I'd love to do during the holiday's. And as much as I wish I could spend more time with my family, I know that I can only spend so much time with them this year. Christmas has always been about family and friends... and I'm not around them everyday so for some reason it just doesn't feel like Christmas, in fact I can't say I feel anything by choice anymore. I just want to be near my nephews on Christmas Eve, having fun with them and enjoying their company. Because its their time to enjoy Christmas, it's their time to enjoy The Polar Express. But I'll admit, that movie just makes me bawl uncontrollably... makes me wonder how I'll feel when I'm around my own children during the Christmas Season. There is truly something awesome and emotional about The Polar Express, the movie just takes me to a place when elements in my life were easier and not so complicated.