All Gone...

"Absolute honesty isn't always the most diplomatic nor the safest form of communication with emotional beings." - TARS (Interstellar)

Today's temperature was 90F, and it was windy as well... which as always makes cycling more challenging. And now, I'm coughing like crazy because all that dry air ended up in my throat. I don't mind it though, I needed the exercise and I needed to vent. Two people have gotten on my nerves today, one for misunderstanding me, and the other for being a drama queen.

As I told someone earlier I can't live in the past, I won't exist there anymore. Anything I want or need in my present and future... I'll have to bleed and struggle to attain. It's not so bad, since I'm starting to realize that the only person I can rely on is myself. People will never get me, and I'm done trying to reach people that I thought knew me... some people can claim to get me, but I know they never will. I thought someone knew me or understood me, but it was a lie. And no matter how honest I am about how I feel, think, or anything. I have no desire to cater to people's emotions anymore. And reassurance is pointless, because people have to want to change. Just like people have to want to believe. Once they are set in their ways, they will stay that way until something comes across to knock them out of stagnation.

I was stagnant and sought out help from someone that I knew hated or disliked me... I had to give it a shot... even if I knew in my soul that it was my final shot. But that is over now, and I've accepted it. I'm tired of trying to be friends or more with people that I care about. I've finally given up, and just want to move on with the rest of my life. I just don't put much faith in human nature, people are just emotional beings and can't handle honesty. They expect it from others sure, but when it comes to themselves... they will lie and be in denial until their last breathe.

So, if I want to lose more weight I'll have to change my diet and when I exercise I'll have to target areas that will produce better changes in my appearance. I've also decided to start going shopping for more clothes, since I'm way behind the trends and styles of the 2000's. It's just time for a change which is what I've been working on for a few weeks now. Just looking at areas of my life where I'm weak or in need of drastic improvements.