Yesterday, I thought I was making progress just holding things together in my personal life. While everyone else around me is getting ready for the Christmas Party, I keep trying to figure out a way to get out of going, even though I am going. I don't feel very merry or even all that good right now. Today, started off with progress, but later in the day it just dropped off the side of the abyss into the utter darkness.
I can't really figure out why I'm down and depressed again, I just am... I just want to escape from my situation and go to a place that is free of stress and people annoying me. Lawyers don't annoy me, they are just doing their jobs and they are expected to them well, and I'm grateful the lawyers I do have are very professional. But they still make me nervous, or should I say my unique situation is making me nervous... just because there are still many steps that have to be taken.
I'm going to go to my Work's Christmas Party... and try to enjoy myself, but all I really want to do is get drunk and pass out somewhere. Although, I don't like how I feel after I get drunk so I doubt I'll do any drinking.
It's Thursday, and I just want to go somewhere quiet and not think about anything or anyone. I wish I could get a grip on how I sense emotionally, think psychologically, and how I literally feel physically. But who knows... maybe by January or February things will be much different for me and my unique situation.
