The Sunday Nightmare

Early this morning, I had a nightmare in which I was an ex-gang member who had sought safety within a church that was in the same neighborhood in which my enemies were looking for me. My enemies had stormed the church and held the congregation hostage, in which they ordered the people to hand me over or they would start executing people. Eventually the police got wind of what was going on inside church and decided to intervene. But one of the gang members shot one of the officers and that started a chain reaction of rage and revenge.

The police were visibly angry and wanted revenge for the loss of one of their officers. And since they were dealing with a situation in which they would not be able to tell the difference between the gang and the congregation, the police captain made a decision that everyone in the church had to die including the gang members and the congregation that decided to protect me. So the police sent in an execution squad to go into the church and kill everyone (Men, Women, and Children). People were running around screaming as the police officers went into an enraged frenzy of killing everyone. The gang members felt that the only way to stop the police was to stand their ground, but the gang members were arrogant and tried to manipulate the police into letting them go. But the police decided to kill them as well, I was able to save one of the gang members from being shot. But then this gang member pointed his gun at me and blamed me for the entire situation. However, I tried my best to convince the gang member that it was too late for him and myself to convince the police of anything, because now they were blinded by the rage to kill everyone.

For a brief time, me and the gang member went through the church trying to save the innocent congregation but I soon realized that this gang member was only concerned with saving his own skin and would gladly kill me when he felt he no longer needed me. So upon coming across the execution squad he ran away and left me to fight off the police myself, I was eventually able to kill two of the police officers but realized I also had to retreat again. But eventually the gang member ended up running back into the execution squad again and was killed.

Eventually it was just me, maybe a handful of of scared members of the congregation hiding somewhere inside the church. And soon, I realized that if I had never ran into the church to begin with, maybe none of this would've ever happened. Eventually I found an exit towards the back of the church in which I was able to escape without being killed, however I knew that all the gang members and the people inside the church had been killed by the police. Because the police ended up setting fire to the entire structure so they could hide the evidence of what they had done.

After I woke up from the dream, I asked myself why did I run into the church to begin with, and why didn't I just leave the city & state. And I asked myself if the dream simply was explaining to me that I keep running into churches instead of dealing with my problems outside of the church. I mean, I don't do anything illegal or criminal so I can't explain why I viewed myself as a gang member. However, I do view Gang Members are manipulating, lazy, and irresponsible individuals who don't contribute to society and are simply a curse upon society because they take advantage of people. So in a way, the gang member ran into the church because he still wanted to be hang onto his lifestyle but felt that being at church was safe and protected him. However, his enemies were still able to find him within that church, and brought that lifestyle within the church therefore destroy the sanctity of the place. That isn't to say that me going to church is bad, but it does make me wonder if I'm simply using church as an excuse to not contribute more to society... am I using church as a crutch instead of going out into society to make something more of myself.

I won't spend too much time analyzing the nightmare/dream, but it has made me think about what I'm really doing with myself when I'm at church, and if I'm really not contributing to society or the churches that I go to.