We argue, We hug, We cry, We fight, We party, We drink, We dance, We confide, We trust, We love, We get married, We get divorced, We hurt, and we do all these things with people that become elements of friendships and relationships that either stay, come, or go in our lives. Sometimes we can't help who we become friends with or who fall in love with, and sometimes we can't handle the people we become friends with. And sometimes we just have a tendency to pick the wrong kind of friends and people to include in our lives. It's just like sometimes we end up in the wrong career and we dislike it because it's no longer challenging or enjoyable. It's a flawed cycle and we end up paying for it emotionally, financially, and mentally. Sometimes we have to come to the simple realization that we have to either quit them or choose more wisely before we invest our lives in people that simply turn our lives into cracks and holes that can never be fully replaced or healed.
Everyone that we call a friend, best friend, or close friend we have an emotional attachment to. Sometimes we become so attached to an individual that we often times don't really grasp the severity of their importance and how our lives change direction because of who they are. I'm not saying that everyone that I consider a close friend is causing cracks in my life; I am saying however that sometimes people carry around baggage that at times can become your baggage. And you want to be a good friend and not judge them simply because they happen to carry drama or negativity around them. Yet at the same time, you have to ask yourself is that friend pushing their baggage onto your shoulders and is it starting to bring you down as well. We have to ask ourselves sometimes are the people that are in our lives really in it for the right reasons, because some people are in our lives just to take and never give. Yes, people do find and establish a connection based on similar interests, experiences, and lifestyle choices; but that shouldn't be all that we look for in people, we have to look at the kind of impact they are having in our lives. Friends can lean on each other when times are hard, and friends can confide and be there for each other during the good and bad times in our lives. But those bad times should never outweigh the good times, because then you end up realizing after the damage is done how much damage has been done from that friendship. Some people are like a virus or disease, that can cause our emotions and minds to become poisoned, and like a garden all it takes is one plant to poison the entire garden.
I can admit that most of the cracks that are currently in my life are from people that I should've removed from my life years ago. And I can admit with true honesty that the only reason they remain in my life is because I feel sorry for them and want to help them out of their situation. However, I know for a fact that I can't change how a person chooses to live their lives; we are all given CHOICES in this life. I can choose to remain that person's friend even though they don't bring me any happiness or joy; and I can choose to cut this person off because they have caused me nothing but painful cracks and wounded my heart. It's a tough decision most of the time because of the emotional attachment we have with people, and even though it might cause some kind of pain or hurt having to cut them loose; it's better in the long-run to cut them loose now so you can find some level of peace in your life.
I can go through all of my friends, close friends, and so-called best friends and identify the cracks they are causing in my life. And I'm not judging them, I'm simply analyzing what the daily benefits are to having them in my life. And even though I hear the same things from people all the time, about how I've been with them through all the good and bad times, I can't help but ask myself is this all that the friendship will ever be? Is this person adding good memories to my life, or simply adding more cracks to my personality and emotions? We have to ask ourselves who we want to keep and who we want to go. And sometimes letting people go, allows for new people to come into our lives so that we can grow and mature in a healthier manner. It's been on my mind a lot lately though, I've been struggling with some people that I call friends. And I'm struggling because I don't like to disappear from people's lives without really a good reason. But to me a good reason is removing the cracks, and if they happen to be a crack then they really have to go. And I hope that someday in the future we can become friends again, but if this person continues with the way they are living their life, then all I'm doing is accepting that they will remain nothing more then a crack.
However, I'm not just going to wake up one day and start deleting people from facebook, my phone, and giving them the cold shoulder if they try and contact me. I'll simply write them a letter and let them know why I can no longer associate with them, and how the association with them is causing problems in how I live my life. See, the point isn't to hurt anyone's feelings because I already have a guilty conscious as it is. The point is to let people know how I truly feel at this moment about them as a friend. Some people deserve a chance to change my mind and prove themselves worthy of being called my friend. I know it sounds a bit arrogant and self-righteous, but that isn't how I'm trying to sound. Being someone's friend is a privilege, not a right.
So this weekend, I'll simply start re-organizing people into my life, and figuring out which ones I want as a close friends, a best friend, associate, or which ones are simply getting a termination from my life. I'll do a lot of thinking and hopefully I'll make the best decision. But it's time to start fixing the cracks in my friendships and start creating new ones.
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