Endure the Pain!

Let's just say that I'm probably a bit of a pain addict, that there are times that I long for the kind of agony and pain that is literally unbearable like maybe getting shot in the arm and having to pull the bullet out, and then having to get a hot blade to seal the wound. I often wonder how painful that would be and if I could endure it. I guess the only way for me to find out, would be for me to try it and see what happens. However, I'm not stupid enough to shoot myself, but I can't help but wonder how painful it would be. Pain isn't meant to kill us or even destroy us, at times I simply view it as a means of understanding how we can continue to challenge and overcome the limitations of our mind and body.

However, this kind of thinking makes me grin and even smile because I know I could endure that kind of pain for hours or even days if that means I can overcome it. The world itself can be a bit painful to endure sometimes, especially if we have to endure it alone... and often times its our past that has created the kind of nightmares that make us slaves to our fears. Our fears can sometimes only be faced by stripping away the walls that keep us closed in. We have to challenge ourselves so that when the time comes to face our fears to look into that dark abyss... we can overcome and be victorious.

I don't believe in not having the answers, and maybe pain is not always a measure of how much we can endure in life. But for me its always been a good place to start. I'm reminded of when I was younger (around 14 or 15), when I was a nerd and people pushed me around. I was running away from someone that wanted to beat me up, and I simply stopped running and turned around to face him. I was terrified but at the same time I told myself... if I don't stop now and face this asshole down... I'll be running from other assholes someday in the future. What happened when he finally caught up to me was something that surprised me... he punched my stomach and face... and I was bleed. But it was the blood that was dripping from my mouth that made me strong. I got up... and I attacked like a wild animal, eventually people intervened and were able to pull me off of him. But I'm reminded of how the pain of his fist connecting with my face made me strong and want to fight through it. Although, it could be said that after being punched in the face and realizing how badly it hurt... that I simply wanted to share my pain with the asshole.

I don't think anyone should have to endure pain in order to be free, but its a lot better then wrapping yourself into a ball and begging for the pain to stop. The pain for me... will never dominate me... because I will always overcome the pain and the fear. I just simply say this... face your fear, endure the pain, and embrace all aspects of life, but never allow the past to limit what you can accomplish in this world. And the best place for me to start... is with testing PAIN.