It's beginning...

So it's beginning again, the beginning stages of another bipolar episode. All this week, I've been having a thought of the process. I'm not going to say it again, because it's just not something I should or need to be thinking about. Except I've been thinking about it every single day this week... Monday & Tuesday... the thought was small and insignificant. But the last 2 days... it's been on my mind a lot. And yesterday evening, I just shut down... I watched episodes of "The Newsroom" but I couldn't process anything I was watching... I was just extremely quiet and exhausted.

I hate certain things that I pick up on during a initial episode, because my brain doesn't let it go. It started earlier, but I'm telling people it started this week. Only because I miss certain aspects of my past, certain emotions and feelings that I haven't really expressed correctly. And now that I'm obviously in the initial stages of another fucking episode I won't stop thinking about it. I saw some pictures last week, and all I wanted to do was be in the picture... I just wanted to be there so badly. I felt strong and intense emotions... I wonder if... naw... it's okay.