Fighting to be...

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

It's been about a month since I started making rapid changes in my life, I must say I'm extremely proud of myself. My outlook on life is changing a lot, and I'm becoming more confident in my ability to be honest with myself about what I need and want. A lot of times in my past, I was afraid to face my own demons, afraid to be myself, but every week I'm learning to be stronger, learning to be more honest, and learning to trust myself more when I feel as though I'm being pushed up against a wall.

I'm also learning to be more selfish with my time and what I spend my energy doing. Yes, I want to share more of myself with people, but I have to make sure that I'm spending time working on myself as well. I don't think people really understand how little time we spend working on ourselves. Sure, we have jobs, we have friends, and we have responsibilities, but how often do we really work on ourselves. How often do we wake up and say... Today I have to do what is best for me, and every day after that.

I'm not a people pleaser right now, and I'm not becoming uncaring or unlovable. I'm just learning to love, understand, and care about myself more... and I will not regret wanting to do that. I just know that I can't fight for others, if I refuse to fight for myself. I still working to maintain that balance that is truly important to me.