Run That Bastard Down

It's funny how I always have tons of unfinished blogs in my drafts area that I haven't got around to finishing, I was just about to start a new blog called "Gang-Bang" but realized that I didn't have the mindset to even start it; not to mention do I even want to write something like that.

So...

Over the weekend, I had tried to resolve myself of any lingering doubts or issues when it comes to making more forward progress in my life. Yet, every time I think about any future plans, something from my past that is unresolved (finances) seems to come up that requires my immediate emotional and mental attention. Life is brutal, hard, and unforgiving at certain points, our bodies can absorb a lot... and often times it shows up in the form of stress or more grey hairs. Right now, I'm dealing with Debt Collectors and Financial Institutions that want their money... they are chasing after me like I stole money from them. Debt is like a chain or yoke that is wrapped around our bodies that can restrict our movements and desires for new things. I'm angry at them mainly because they are unwilling to work with me or even find some middle ground so I can operate more efficiently. However, maybe that is my failure and not theirs. They have a job to do and they are doing it... its not personal just business.

Whatever...

It is personal... it might have been a business arrangement that led me to where I am now when it comes to my education or need for financial support; but whenever I'm sitting at home wondering how I'm going to take care of myself, my wife, or even my dog... I can't help but take it personally... I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of it all. I mean, Lisa's mom is in the hospital right now, and I know that soon she is going to want to visit her, but will be unable to visit her unless she gets a Green Card. I mean, I'm doing the best I can do... but that is even an excuse... let's play it safe... let's do things the right way... let's be cautious and not take risks... let's pay a bill instead of putting food on the table so we can eat. How about for a minute, I take a step back out of my moment of self-loathing and inability to make a good choice... a righteous choice... I say... its time to do more then just talk, think, and plot... it's time to get bloody... it's time to go after the Debt Collectors, Financial Institutions, with an ever growing thirsty vengeance that only be quench when they are under my foot and done with.

Run That Bastard Down

And I don't mean ignore the responsibilities or obligations that have been made, I mean simply do whatever is necessary to get past just surviving. If you're in a war, and the only way to win is to commit some atrocities that go against the moral or ethical boundaries in life. Basically, if your family is important and someone was threatening to harm them, or did harm them... what would you do? How far would you go in order to be satisfied that justice has been done? The same goes for finances and being successful in life, sometimes we give up and sometimes we need the proper motivation in order to move forward. Sometimes it comes in the form of heartbreak, poverty, or even death... but Life Goes On... and humans are very resilient and are capable of doing both magnificent and horrifying things in order to survive.

Just Do It.