Coming & Going

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."

I've always had a hard time letting people go that I was very close to in my past. Every so often, I have the memory of my friendship with my elementary friend Mark, I haven't seen him since before I started High School. But its strange that some of my friends from Elementary were able to find me on Facebook, while others have seemingly dropped off the face of the planet or just choose to not appear on Facebook or even on the internet. Recently, I've been trying to re-establish a friendship with a friend that left my life, and even though I'm sure that person would prefer to keep me at a distance, I can't help but wonder why they don't reach out to me. Then I realized that if someone isn't trying to be in my life, maybe they have their reasons for staying out of my life. Either way, I know that I have to learn to let people go who were really awesome and important to me. People come and go, that is the way things are, we can hold onto the memories of those people, but sometimes its important to allow people to move on with their lives.

As always, I find myself trying to understand why its hard for me to let people go, and maybe its just my way of simply living in the past, and not trying to find ways to establish new adventures in my present and future. Tonight, I have a meeting with some ex-band mates who probably want me to play in their band again, but I was very much dismayed when they didn't tell me the truth a few months ago as to why they didn't want to associate with me. I don't like it when people aren't upfront about things, it makes me feel as though they don't value the friendship or association, and more then anything it makes me feel that they aren't really loyal. Loyalty is extremely important to me, because when it comes to my friendships I'm fiercely loyal and will do whatever I can to hold onto the friendship.

I'm slowly learning though, that whether I fight or I'm put into a position where I can't fight for people that I have to decide that its time to leave the past in the past and move on with my life. It does suck having to let go, but that's life sometimes, we have to make the right decision for ourselves even if we still feel strong emotions for individuals that were important to us. Even in death we have to let go of people and move on with our lives. So, I guess at some point, I'll have to being to leave people where they are, and work harder to just bring new lives into my world.