It is the 2011th year of the Common Era and it has really been emotionally and psychology damaging for me, and its just June. All weekend I've vented my frustration and internal anguish to my friends, or anyone that really cared to listen. I wish people simply didn't judge me without knowing my internal struggles, and sometimes I wish people would be open to listening instead of questioning my decisions. Often times, I feel that people expect my decisions to be more emotional based or simply to make other people happy. Unfortunately, during a Recession people often times prefer to be in denial then to respect that I'm trying to make clear and defined decisions.
I've come to a hard truth, that the Recession usually breaks people, destroys people, or people learn to overcome and become greater. I'm currently looking forward to July because I know that I'm expecting a lot of changes to take place during that month. I'm moving into another apartment that is 4 miles from my job which allow me to stop driving to work, and I'll be able to ride my bike to work so I can lose weight. And I expect that with an established diet and workout routine, I'll be able to re-shape my body into something strong and clearly defined. And the close proximity to work will also allow me to save a lot of money on gas which will help me pay off my debts and take more vacations. As for school, I'm not entirely sure when that aspect will be completed, although I know I'm tired of coming out of pocket to pay for my education while I'm still in debt, so I'm pushing that into a less top priority position.
I'm honest with myself, and I know things will begin to improve in my life once July comes around, and if things don't improve in July, then I'll know soon that things will one day become good. I believe right now through all my struggles and hardships that I'm becoming a stronger and tougher individual. But I know that in order to sculpture our lives we have to see ourselves the way we want to be, and begin chipping away the excess and molding ourselves the way we want to be seen.
